Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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