Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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