Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
