bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
