I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
