member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
