so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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