no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
