that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
