So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
