this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
