A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
