Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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