so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
