O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.