carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.