After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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