i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
