Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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