If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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