is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Your penis caused this!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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