They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
