I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
