How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize