Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
