No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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