If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my sisters under your porch take her home
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
