oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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