Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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