After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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