Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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