Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
