So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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