Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize