So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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