well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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