we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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