one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize