Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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