But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
