just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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