You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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