did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
