would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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