no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
