no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize