Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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