we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
