Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
