is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
