the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The air taste purple.
Randomize
