do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
