he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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