I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
