just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
