It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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