Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
