The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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