I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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