People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
