Sry I called you an 8
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
