WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
