ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
