I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
