Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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