No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
