You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
